A lot has been going on, said the stressed and distressed and oppressed A-level student.
I have been sailing around the ocean on my tiny little ice cube. I feel cold in a sea of angst. But why? I hear you cry. Of course you’re crying, you’re speaking to a girl who cannot keep one hand on her shoulder, let alone expectations to get a thousand phenomenal marks on her intelligence scale.
On this scale, the only number that I can see is the number 5. The middle. On a scale from one to ten. On a scale of one to one hundred? The number is 50. Even though I am an average human, according to statistics and the deception of the exam boards, I wish there was another way to prove intelligence.
I don’t know how intelligent I, or anyone else is. I could speculate that we are all clever little molecules floating around in mid air. But how could I prove that? The only way that the universe has found to measure how clever we are is by testing us. And not a sweet-little-quiz-type-primaryschool-bonanza. But a take-my-own-life-by-shovelling-my-head-into-a-bucket-of-mud-catastrophe.
For the final time, even if this was the official final time I had to be tested, it would not be the technical final time. Throughout one’s life, everywhere one will go will be like a bear-trap for our legs. We will struggle and struggle to escape from the test but it will not do any good. Our stamina being tested. Tested being stamina our? OR what.
Our legs are trapped, still, in the bear-trap. Who’s out there? one will shout to the air around oneself. There is a spirit entrapping us so that we cannot escape. Much like the modern day education system. Trapping our legs so that we cannot move. Not teaching us our well-needed skills to live. But teaching us our well-despised incompetences to die.
That is the definition of education: An entrapping bear-trap, in which an individual’s legs will get suffocated until they are given the ultimatum, whether to pass, or whether to fail; whether to survive, or whether to die.
And this is how children today are developed. They are “educated” to suit the government’s exacting standards. “Educated” is just synonymous for “ignorance”. Why? That’s my question for the government. Why are we, the twenty-first century’s “educatees” under this pressure to be one hundred times cleverer than our preceding generation? One thousand times cleverer than their preceding generation.
We are swamped with this insane amount of stress to be better than we possibly can be. People are rejected every day from their ideal university because they are “just not clever enough”. That is as awful an excuse to reject someone as saying that they “just do not have the correct hair colour”.
To this day I will not understand this. Children are not developing with the self-esteem, confidence, tranquility, etcetera, that they should. Instead, they develop thinking that their brain is too skinny and their feet are too large; their brain too detrimental and their feet too stuffed inside their mouth to prove that we are all intelligent.
But nobody will believe us, even if we could prove it. As much as teaching is an amazing profession to be involved in, everyone has been constructed to be completely and utterly “educated” with ignorance.
With any luck, this post would change Michael Gove’s obscenities. It would change the tests, it would change people’s views. But, let’s face it, that is about as likely as getting camembert back on the shelves after Brexit, or Donald Trump giving up his presidentship to be kind to women – or just being kind to women in general – or the world being reshaped from a large, disease-infested bollock into something that resembles the happiness that children today, and our crumbling generation, deserve.
Theresa May, if you read this, don’t bother pointing out any grammatical errors or expletives or opinions that you can inevitably respond with “BREXIT MEANS BREXIT”. I don’t need anymore reminding of my average-intelligent background.
*mocking roar of laughter intended*.
Thanks for reading!